I’ll be the first to admit, it’s been a few decades since I was on the dating scene (Yes…I’m not a millennial). But from my historical AND second-hand knowledge of the dating scene…it can feel a lot like trying to develop a winning, innovative idea. You always remember the excitement of that first date. But for us wily veterans of innovation and romantic relationships, we know that a successful relationship, or venture, while it all starts with the initial moment of excitement, the ultimate success is dependent upon playing the long game. The embers of a great idea, much like a romantic relationship, can get snuffed out over time if you don’t properly nurture it. So, here’s some deliberate advice for both your innovation life and your romantic one too.
The Initial Spark
Many people describe the moment they met their significant other as: Being thunderstruck. Falling head over heels. An initial spark. I know that when I met my wife nearly 30 years ago, we had this instant connection. This may sound a bit kitschy, but the thunderbolt of a great idea feels kind of similar. For example, when I first conceived of the idea behind one of my start-up businesses, I was immediately enamored with it. Everything about the idea was perfect. I couldn’t see a single flaw at the outset. Just as in dating, this raw passion behind a novel starter idea is usually what propels the idea forward.
At this stage, my deliberate advice (as it pertains to innovation — I’ll save the dating advice for another time) is that now is the time to invest in getting to know your idea. Go on many dates with your idea. This is where you invest time and effort into researching, brainstorming, and refining your concept, much like getting to know someone on a deeper level through meaningful conversations and shared experiences. At the end of this stage, your idea should evolve from a “first date” with potential to becoming a serious prospect for a long-term relationship. (see what I did there??)
The Evaluation Phase
At some point the “honeymoon phase” comes to end. You’ve spent time together with your idea, or partner, and you might start to see flaws and notice things that annoy you. Along the way, you encounter obstacles and challenges that test your commitment and resilience. Whether it’s overcoming technical hurdles, navigating market uncertainties, or facing skepticism from stakeholders. Now that doesn’t mean you no longer love your idea; it’s just that practical reality has set in, and you need to evaluate whether this is the idea that you want to settle down with and be committed to. It is this stage where most ideas, and relationships, fail.
But the good news is that there is a Deliberate process that can help you make the decision of whether to make that long-term commitment. Our method, The Killer Assumptions, invites you to take a long hard look at the assumptions around your idea. You start by listing all of the facets of your idea that must hold true for the idea to be successful. And then you carefully evaluate each of these assumptions by asking which of them will have the highest impact and of those high impact assumptions, which of those are the most uncertain. The greater the number of high impact and high uncertainty assumptions, the riskier and more fraught your concept might be. That doesn’t mean that you should abandon the relationship quite yet. But it does act as an early warning sign that your relationship may be trickier than your first thought.
The Commitment and Partnership Phase
Eventually you need to decide. Are you in it for the long haul or you going to remain a bystander? Whether it’s in love or innovation, you have to take what you’ve learned in the evaluation phase of the relationship and be decisive. No idea, or relationship, will ever succeed if you are half-in. Once you’ve made the choice that you’re all in, you need to constantly recommit yourself to make this decision work. No idea or relationship is destined to succeed. It requires an ongoing commitment and reminders of why you fell in love in the first place. Expect that you will have ups and downs in this relationship. And most importantly be prepared to adapt and pivot. All ideas and relationships change with time. The question is if you can flexible and responsive enough to adapt with it.
My deliberate advice to you is to anticipate the bumps and plan the pivots. As a process, I would ask myself: (1) what can go wrong, (2) if it does go wrong, what can I do now, or later, to prepare for failure and (3) What can I do right now to prevent that from happening. New ventures, just like people, are not monolithic. They change over time. So if you want to be successful in the long term, be prepared to pivot.
With that, I wish you good luck with your romantic relationships and your innovating. And remember, the real secret to success is not merely following a formula or set of rules, it’s about caring and finding ways to constantly fall back in love with that first idea or person.
Happy innovating!
